Acceptance of what cannot be changed
by chris, January 23, 2006
Over a week ago, my car was broken into. The person commiting the crime was probably a professional, or at least experienced. Nothing else in the car was stolen except the wallet, nor anything else touched except the smashed window.
Perhaps it was my fault, some would say. I left the wallet on the front seat of the car, clearly in sight of anyone looking directly into my car.
Now, I am not fully unaware of the potential of man to do unto others before they do unto you. So, when I shut my door and looked at my wallet on the seat, I said to myself, "Shouldn't leave it there." But then the other part of me said, "It will be okay. We are in Japan after all." In addition, the parking area is in an enclosed area, and nobody other than a car owner, one of 14, would enter that area.
In addition, it is my belief that one should be able to leave one's windows open and doors unlocked without fear of something being stolen or damaged. That's how it used to be when I was a kid, and that is how it used to be in Japan.
So, when I returned to my car almost 24 hours later to find my window smashed in, there were two thoughts, "Damn it, someone broke into my car, and, I cannot go to the gym."
It is amazing how the mind can both experience a certain level of shock and realism at the same time. Yes, I was angry I would have to take care of the car and that someone had violated my space. I was also angry that someone had taken away my time, both in terms of the work I had to do to pay for the damages and my personal time for working on my mind and body. But, anger gets nothing done by just letting anger build. Energy must eventually be channeled before it becomes destructive (this is the same with love and any other emotion).
The police were called, the bank was called, the mechanic was called. The act of vandalism and robbery was discussed, but with only the slight amounts of heightened blood pressure that accompanied the first time I was vandalized in such a way in Mexico.
The difference I am realizing is the level of acceptance and the "shoganai" atttitude of those around me. "Shoganai", in a more complete understanding means, "nothing can be done, so let it go." Or, as we also call it, equanimity.
8 days later, the act of vandalism has served as a test of my ability to accept reality and to move on, as well as served as a reminder to be more aware of my space and the intuitive voice within (the one some call "our Guardian Angel"). My inner voice had warned me not to leave the wallet behind, and I didn't bring thought to action.
Is this act my fault then? No. The simple act of owning something and having faith that it is safe is not an act of fault. Perhaps it was slightly careless, but this does not put me at fault.
Responsibility falls to the person who, intentionally and without provocation, committed an act of harm against someone else.
I accept there are such people in this universe. It is not mine to be vengeful, even though such thoughts did cross my mind. Nor does it mean turn the other cheek. I did after all go to the police, and I am sharing my experience with others. Not to scare them, but to increase awareness.
Acceptance is not to be ignorant, but to be aware and to act.
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